Velva the Warrior





Only Appearance

Heroine Addict

Voiced by

Pamela Segall Adlon

Velva is the Oblongs' version of Xena, whom Beth adores.


She is very heroic and courageous, and will do anything to help her friends. However, this is only limited to females. She despises males.


She has long black hair, and wears light eye shadow with red lipstick. She has gold hoop earrings, yellow armbands, black and gray shoulderplates, a black and gray body suit, black and gray gloves, and black and gray knee boots. Her sword is kept in a leg sheath.


"It's a good thing we have these action figures to help plan our rescue!"
―Heroine Addict
"In the unlikely event that I would ever lay with a man and bear a child, I would never risk my life jumping off a building!"
―Heroine Addict


  • Her name is a pun on "vulva".
  • Her show is created by a company called "Failing Network".
  • Her TV series has heavy lesbian/anti-male overtones (the villains are male, while the heroes are female).
  • Her main enemy is the evil Testicles.
  • Her enemies hide in Scrotor's Castle, the Vast Deferens Forest, and the base of the Shaft.
  • She has a boat called the Cervix.
  • Her sidekick is Loo-Kor the Atrocious, one of her fellow female warriors is Majora, her horse is Fallopious, and her bird is Placentor.
  • Her catchphrase is "slash in his groin!!".